Parenting Teens & Relating to Adult Children

       Parenting is built into the will of God for you. As a lesser covenant, yet still showing God's heart, we find in the Bible, this from the Law of Moses, Deuteronomy 6:4 is instructive in parenting. From the NASB, the LORD said this, for parents: "Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."

       So in the New Testament, you find Paul the Apostle affirming this, as relevant to our time. The instruction is assumed that way to continue in thrust. Paul then goes beyond it and adds tips for how to use it well, rather than instruct poorly (Ephesians, Colossians).

       Resources? Help for parents?

       For all the parents out there, of soon to be teens, teens, or adult children, there are some great resources for you. Visionary Family has a series called "Never Too Late," which would serve you well as a Small Group or Weekend Conference material. It could also be used on your own, profitably for your Christian walk and parenting. The link to it is here for your use: It is set up as a four part series, however, you at home or in small group may prefer to break it into six sessions, as several are longer sessions. 

       It can be helpful to get a compiled resource list, and work through which may be the most relevant to you. Check out this link next. This Focus on the Families' resources, link is at:

       Of those, there are plenty of resources to work through. Some of them are for tough challenges like cutting and some are more common instructional resources, like with teen dating questions. Some counseling networks are suggested there too.

       What about helping a teen stay in the right way, or consider others (like a sibling's well being)? How about communication with a teen or adult child? There are solid tips in these from Bible principles. Some of the podcasts/broadcasts put out by Focus on the Family also can be helpful to reflectively watch once or twice. These may be a substitute in some cases for counseling on such topics, or could lead to further questions where that may be helpful too. Link to this is:

       Teens and young adults have growing tendency to express their freedom. So they love you, but also feel a need for more autonomy in their life. Planning as a parent to engage them well, and to convey a path, are listed by Focus on the Family recommended Dr. Kenneth Wilgus. As a standalone, it may not be the only resource you buy, but a good one. In that set, from Wilgus, you'll find a useful work mentioned, a book, called "Feeding the Mouth that Bites You." A link is here:

       There are some insights you'll not want to miss in a useful book, I'd recommend too: "Age of Opportunity" by Paul David Tripp. A link can be found here to it: This is a reasonably priced resource, you can consult again and again at home, or use as a small group study or parenting group study. It is from the "Resource for Changing Lives" series by a major Christian publisher.

      In that work, you'll find ways to relate better to your teen or young adult child. These can be communication, spiritual disciplines, and awareness of cultural baggage, that would prevent successful influence. 

God bless. - Dr. Dave


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